Introspection and Half-Breeds
by inuyasha's lullaby - farewell
Summary: He was his younger brother, nothing more. It was a lie he told himself quite often. – Sesshomaru and the need for love he believes he cannot have. Inucest.


They tolerated each other, for the most part. Gave the occasional hello, spent a bit of time together. Kagome said they were "learning how to progress", and it was a bit true. With everything having some semblance of normality, the brothers decided to leave their past in the past. It would take some time getting used to, but there was this unspoken determination to have the relationship they never had, a relationship that would be fraught laughter, smiles, and the occasional fight or two.

The daiyoukai's pride prevented him from admitting that yes, he was indeed getting along with his younger brother. He had inexplicably taken a liking to the human food his half-brother loved so dearly, the very food he doesn't even need, but partakes in as a way to get a little bit closer to the hanyou and found that hey, the humans can actually make edible things. It was an entirely new experience to him, weird to finally have these kind of moments, but relieving as well. It was surprising to his newfound human companions, too, how far he was willing to make amends without verbally declaring it.

"Lord Sesshomaru and Master Inuyasha are finally acting like real brothers!" Rin would exclaim. And everyone would nod in agreement while Inuyasha would madly blush and spout untrue denials, and Sesshomaru would simply make a face in effort to prevent himself from laughing along with everyone. Everything was all too surreal that he didn't want afford himself the simple pleasures until he made sure that this was not a dream, but blissful reality.

Inuyasha would always complain that the mighty Lord Sesshomaru never shows another emotion besides indifference, and will occasionally make a joke about the daiyoukai's inability to smile. Of course, Sesshomaru did smile, but only when he was sure that he was alone, so no one could see the corners of his lips turn upwards as he smiles at the peculiar actions that Inuyasha the half-demon could only carry out. There was a day where the silverette finally warranted himself a laugh at the frustration Inuyasha experienced in attempt to catch fish with Rin. It was amusing to see a mere human girl more skilled at the art of catching fish than a powerful demon, and he found himself analyze the annoyance that would appear on the hanyou's face, his ears twitching every time he missed, his golden eyes shooting daggers at the girl that dared to gloat and brag.

It was all too adorable. Especially the way Inuyasha would thrash about in the water, getting himself and Rin completely soaked, his silver strands of hair shimmering with water droplets and clothes becoming form-fitting on his slender body.

And it would be moments like those where Sesshomaru would stop smiling, stop laughing, and rid himself of any pleasant thoughts pertaining to his brother. He'd debate with himself, reassure himself that Inuyasha was his younger brother, nothing more. It was a lie he told himself quite often.

He couldn't exactly remember when he fell in love with his younger brother, but he knew these feelings frustratingly existed.

Perhaps it was in his eagerness to form some sort of bond with the half-breed that the dog demon crossed the thin line of brotherly love. Perhaps this seemingly-forbidden love was something he has always repressed, and only when he finally made amends did he realize this love. Either way, he would find himself always staring at his brother, analyzing and admiring his beauty, only to feel a mix of hurt and rejection and jealousy when he would see Inuyasha hold that human priestess lovingly, dance with her, kiss her. They were emotions he knew he shouldn't feel all because he cursed the fact his younger brother found temporary happiness with another. The very prospect just proved his selfishness, forcing Sesshomaru to acknowledge to admit this internal turmoil with himself, to realize that he desires something that does not belong to him.

The situation was completely vexing. He knew he couldn't act upon his feelings, this love the humans would deem sinful and wretched. So, he would force himself to put on this façade, always being around the half-demon that served as a constant reminder of what he could not have.

* * *

It was when their last human companion died did both Inuyasha and Sesshomaru fully accept the consequences of befriending mortals. It particularly struck a chord with the daiyoukai, as it was his precious Rin that finally said her goodbye. They were alone together, somewhat-graced with the occasional visit of the wolf demons and young fox demon, only able to enjoy the company of the little nekomata. It was a fate they were subjected to, a destiny that had accepted, though it came with an ending that was too hard to believe.

Sesshomaru had gave into the very depression that Inuyasha once dealt with, remaining in voluntary silence, avoiding his brother's worried gaze and trying to block out the fact that the half-demon sat in close proximity to him. Even after all these years, the hanyou still unwittingly taunted him with his intoxicating beauty and headstrong personality. But Inuyasha will soon leave him, just like the others. His human half will make sure of that, and despite the blank expression he kept plastered on his face, the very fact of Inuyasha leaving him was crushing Sesshomaru's heart.

"Sesshomaru?" he heard his half-brother say, his voice calm and laced with concern. "You can't stay quiet forever. It's…it's not healthy. Trust me."

"Just leave me be," the daiyoukai replied, his voice filled with more scorn and hurt than intended.

"I can't do that. Not after what we've been through, what we finally have, I'm not gonna let you be enveloped in sadness."

"I said – "

The daiyoukai felt warm, comforting hands gently grasp his shoulders. Caring words grazed against his sensitive ears.

"You still have me, big brother."

Sesshomaru turned quickly, preparing a remark of how that was nothing more than a lie. He didn't fully comprehend how close the hanyou was until he felt a hand caress his face and the lips of a half-demon lightly press against his, silencing him, surprising him, throwing him into a beautiful stupor. He felt the self-imposed anger and sadness vanish away, dissipating like smoke as he melted into the kiss. Once again, he felt as though this was a dream, but the longing for more and the slight moaning and the intertwining of fingers proved that this was a reality, the very reality he had always wanted to live in.

"Like I said: you still have me, big brother," the hanyou said once he broke the kiss, smiling.

And Sesshomaru simply stared and smiled slightly at the love he could now have.

* * *

 **Oh my God, I finally write for the OTP. I'm so proud of myself.**

 **This originally wasn't supposed to have a happy ending, but my brain kept yelling, "Make them kiss!** _ **Make them kiss!"**_ **And then things went from there.**


End file.
